Anything that Moves
by The Pudding Fiend
Summary: America brings China a present that he just knows his ally will love. Based on a popular misconception and a running joke.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia.

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It was a fairly quiet day in the meeting room. All of the countries were seated around the elliptical table, calmly enjoying whatever they were occupied with. England was reading, bushy brows furrowed; his tea cooling beside him. France appeared to be writing something, furiously scribbling away on a piece of tan-coloured paper. It wasn't clear what he was writing, but it seemed to involve a lot of hearts. Russia and China were seated adjacent to the other, chatting quietly. China was laughing at something that Russia had said when the door burst open.

America rushed in, making a beeline straight to where China and Russia were sitting. He was carrying something in a bag, which was squirming and writhing frantically. Russia paused in mid-sentence, looking up at the bespectacled man.

"Ah! Hello America!" Russia greeted cheerfully, raising a hand in greeting. "You're finally back from the washroom." China turned around so he could face America. He eyed the wriggling bag nervously, hoping that America hadn't brought back another souvenir from the toilet.

"Where were you? You've been in the bathroom for over an hour already," England walked over, setting his book neatly next to his tea. "What were you doing? Catching stuff in the john again?"

"Naw, I finished my business ages ago," America answered. "But, you're half right! I was off catching this!" He thrust the bag into England's face, forcing him back a step. "It's a present for China!"

The shorter man got up, hesitantly inching closer to America and the twitching bag. "You…got a present for me, aru?"

"Yu-up! Took forever to get the little booger, but I got it!" He stuffed a hand into the bag, yanking out…

"A cat?" France had wandered over, temporarily abandoning his poetry in favour of joining the others. "Why, that's very nice of you. Cats are _marvellous_ creatures, after all. Like me." England scoffed. China cocked his head to the side, looking confused.

"Um…thank you, America," China gingerly accepted the rather rumpled and cranky looking cat, who was giving America a look that could peel paint. "It's very nice, but..."

"Why the hell did you give him a cat?" England crossed his arms. "If you wanted to give someone a cat, then you should've given it to Greece. You know how much he loves those things."

"I got it as a special treat for China! I thought that he could fry it up or something; y'know, as a snack," All of the nations, except Russia turned to give America a 'what-the-hell' look. Even the cat gave the hyperactive nation a look. America, however, was oblivious to this. Instead, he was grinning and looking quite proud of himself.

France cleared his throat awkwardly. "America…what exactly do you mean by…'snack'?"

"Huh? What do you mean what do I mean? I just thought that China could use a snack, is all," America slung an arm around the shorter man. "You're so short and small! You need to eat more!"

China glanced at America's arm, wondering if he should flip him off or something. That might be a bit hard to do while holding the cat, though. "America, I'm naturally this way. Eating more isn't the problem. Besides, I don't eat cats, aru."

"You don't?!" America looked positively stunned. "But, I thought all Chinese people ate cats! I heard that you guys'll eat anything that moves!"

"What?! Who told you that?!" China looked outraged. "Look, America, I don't know where you heard that, but that's not true, aru! True, some people _do_ eat cats and dogs and other things like that, but that's only because they've got nothing else to eat! It's not like people run around and buy cat-kebob or something!"

"So…you don't eat cats?" America asked, arm still around the dark-haired nation.

"NO!" China yelled.

"Oh, that's too bad," America looked slightly disappointed. "Oh well! At least you have a cat-friend now!" He laughed happily, pulling China closer with one arm, placing his other hand on his hip. England sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. France shrugged, a smile on his face.

"I don't think I can take care of the cat, aru," China looked down at the bedraggled feline, who was still death-glaring America. "Maybe I should give him to Greece. I don't think that he would mind another friend, aru."

"I'll take him," Everyone looked at Russia. The platinum-haired nation hadn't said a word throughout the entire exchange, watching everything with a slight smile on his face. "I have lots of room at home, so I don't mind."

"Are you sure it won't be too much trouble, aru?" Russia shook his head, smiling sweetly. "Well, if you're sure." China passed the cat to Russia, who grasped it lightly in his big hands. The large nation held the feline up to his face, smiling benignly at it. The cat stared at him, body gone completely rigid, eyes staring warily into violet eyes. Russia got to his feet, tucking the cat into a pocket in his coat.

"Well, I'll be going now," Russia said, waving jovially. The other nations watched as he quietly closed the door behind him. After a brief pause, they turned to look at the other.

"What do you suppose he's going to do with the cat?" England asked, glancing nervously at the door. "Does he even like cats?"

China shrugged, also peering at the door. "I don't know, aru. He's never given any indication of liking them before."

"Why does it matter what he's going to do with the cat? He agreed to take it, right? So, no problem!" America pumped a fist into the air. "C'mon, let's get to it! We've still got a super hero to build!"

"You're still on that?! I already told you that it's a stupid idea!" England's muffled voice reached Russia's ears from inside the room. He removed his ear from the wooden door, chuckling to himself. He walked off, stroking the cat's head.

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I love Hetalia! China is so cute (Although I totally mistook him for a girl at first. Eheh…) and cuddly! Anyhow, I'd like all readers to know that I wasn't trying to be offensive. I know that Chinese people don't eat everything that moves and being Chinese myself, I've got proof. This came from a running joke in my Japanese class. Kudos to you, J, for being such a good sport.


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